Tanith Belbin and other Canadian sellouts

I Hate Tanith Belbin!

Now I am not calling for an Olympic tragedy, but let’s just say if some terrible tragedy befalls Tanith Belbin before or during the Olympic games I will be the happiest man in Canada.

I am adding Tanith Belbin to my list of Canadians I fucking hate. “Hate is a strong word”, my mother always said, but guess what, it ain’t strong enough for Tanith.

Tanith could also appear on my list of people I hate soley because of their first names, but today she will appear on my list of suck hole, Canadian bitches who aren’t good enough to compete for one country so they compete for another. There are other motives for their switch of alligence of course which I will get to in due time, but think dollar signs and you will get the picture.

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind atheletes switching countries after playing for someone else, but I have limits. For example, Athurs Irbe was forced to play for the Soviet Union/Russia, but when his home country, Latvia, gained independence he had to fight for his right to play for his homeland. No skin of Russia’s nose, great boost for Latvia, so no problem. Canada’s own Mark McKoy won gold in the 110 meter Hurdles at the Olympics, but then didn’t make the Canadian Team for the next games. Canada should have let him defend, in my opinion, but I do support the country’s right to only send the best. In this case it was such a huge deal that we won a track and field medal, not just some ice dancing bullshit, that I think he should have been allowed to defend his gold medal (note to Tanith: that is all you can win, bullshit ice dance, think about it). Mark Mckoy was forced to sprinit for someone else. I can’t fault Mark for wanting to defend anyway possible, I wasn’t thrilled, but what else could he do? There are other examples, but not many. My list of suck hole bitches is a lot longer.

First on my list because it hurt so much, and he is actually the only person who ever really hurt Canada with his decision to play for another country…

Brett Hull

Brett ‘s decision to play for the US because Canada said he wasn’t good enough is the worst turn coat crap I have ever seen. Born in Belleville Ontario, raised in Belleville and Winnipeg, but played for the USA. When his best friend told him to come back home (Wayne Gretzky) he said “NO!”. That is Hull’s career signature. Calgary had the gaul to send him to the minors so he wanted out. Canada told him he wasn’t good enough to play for the team so he went to the US (remember the Canadian teams of the mid to late 1980’s? Yzerman wasn’t good enough to play). He hated every coach he ever had, etc. So how did he hurt Canada? Well he scored the high stick goal in that bullshit World Cup Championship in 1996 (fuck the Canada Cup right Bettman). Brett Hull is poison. Did Steve Yzerman ever say “fuck Canada, I have been in the US for over 10 years, I have never made an importrant Canadian team even though I am a top 5 player in the world, why don’t I just play for the US.” No he didn’t, but Brett Hull did. Yzerman waited it out and got his chance, Hull, well he won that one bullshit trophy and that was it.

So Brett Hull I hate you more than any turn coat bitch in the world, even more than that turn coat bitch George Washington.

Obviously George Washington is second on my list, but third is…

Lennox Lewis

This guy doesn’t even admitt to knowing where Canada is, and when our friends at HBO or Showtime annouce him they say Gold Medalist for Great Britain. When you see film of him winning his gold medal, look at his face as he waves the worlds smallest Canadian flag. It is like he is holding a cheque for 2 cents. It is worthless to him. He abandonded his home country and came to Canada. He accepted our money, our safety and our love and support and as soon as he went pro he became British.

As an aside, it was a pretty smart move. The Brits love boxing, they love champions, and with the exception of that waste of space Frank Bruno, they hadn’t had a champion they could call their own in a very long time. So finacially it was genius, but morally it was bankrput.

I hate him so much that I watch Rahman knock him out all the time on tape. If he even mentioned Canada once and a while it wouldn’t be so bad, or if he didn’t make a point of saying which country he represented, I wouldn’t care, but he does make the point and did abandon us and never even had a fight in Canada as a thank you. So Lennox, you’re bitch number three.

Owen Hargreaves

Now this kid pisses me off so much, just saying his name makes me taste bile. Born and raised in Calgary, until he lucked out and got a contract to play soccer with Bayer Munich. Fine, good for him. When it comes time to decide who he is going to play soccer for at a national level he says he has three options, Germany, England and Canada. To me the kid has one option, Canada. Born and raised, case closed. His mother or grandmother was British, that’s it. If you were born before 1983 that isn’t even enough to secure citizenship, but apparently it is enough to play for the National team. I think the Germany option was there because he played there for three years. I guess that is enough to put the goose in his step. The real pisser is not that he chose England, I mean who wouldn’t, unless you were actually German, but this guy would have been "THE MAN" for the Canadian soccer team for at least 12 years. We could have built a team around someone of his calibre and could have finally competed in the easiest group in the world and got back to the World Cup. Other players would have followed suit on his example, BUT NO. He decides he is going to be an insignificant, totally replaceable piece of the England machine. So instead of hundreds of caps for Canada and making a real difference in an entire country’s program he is a little used sub who will lose his place on the team before he turns 28.

Just to be a bastard I feel I should mention that since his decision to play for England they have had minor success, but no trophies, Canada on the other hand won the Gold Cup in a tournament that included 2 top ten teams (Mexico & USA). So there Owen, you bitch.

As I could go on all day I have save my last two turn coat bitches for the sport of Tennis. One of these people makes me sick and the other I just hate because she is so fucking stupid.

First Greg Rusedski

A more English sounding name you will not find. Another example of a guy born to a Canadian Father and British mother who gets citizenship even though it isn’t really allowed. To gain British citizenship the rules state that the father must be British if you were born before 1983, case closed. Anyway, this bitch was born in Montreal Quebec, a place known for its love of the British Empire and after five years as a pro decides that he wants to be British. Why? Again it’s pretty smart. He was a pretty decent player, not great, but decent, so how do you make sure that regardless of play or ranking you get into a grand slam tournament? Of course pick one of the four countries with a Grand Slam and become a citizen. Again the Brits are crazy for tennis, Wimbledon is “THE” tournament as far as I am concerned and he basically gets in for free, no matter how bad he is playing because he is “British”. Again this rant is about being good enough to make it on your own, not about being smart.

Here is another example of a guy who could have done wonders for the Canadian game, but no. Two weeks a year the guy is “the shit” in the UK and that is it. He picks up his cheque and there is his season. The only problem for him is that the English are pretty smart and have never really accepted him as British. Apart from his name and his Canadian accent he totally passes for British so I can’t figure it out. I don’t know who I love more, the British people for making fun of him every year or every single Canadian player (Nestor / Laureau to name only two) who stuck it out here and have brought some pride (Gold medal in doubles in Australia).

Mary Pierce

Even worse than that bitch Greg is that stupid turn coat bitch Mary Pierce. She took Greg’s route and decided to forget her Montreal, Quebec home and abandoned Canada for Florida so she could play for France. That makes perfect sense. Again here is a marginal top 20 player who has assured herself a spot every year in a Grand slam (the worst Grand Slam, but still a Grand Slam). Sure she won it once, but she even fucked that up. Mary Pierce of France (Ha Ha) accepted her award with a “Merci” and an “I am sorry, but I don’t speak French”. What a useless tool. I hate her so much that France can have her. How fucking embarrassing. You think that if you made the finals you would practice a line or two in French expressing your joy of being the first French woman to win the tournament in god only knows how many years. Not Pierce, "sorry I don’t speak French". To make matters even worse, she is from fucking Quebec. How stupid and isolated was this woman that she never picked up any French? Just writing it makes me want to put her ahead of Brett Hull, but like I said, he is the only person on the list who actually hurt Canada with his actions. All of the others could have helped us greatly, but Hull hurt us.

That brings us to the newest entry…

Tanith Belbin

How is it possible that I know absolutely nothing about her, but still hate her soo much? Her excuse for the knife in the back, “I have lived in the US most of my life and all my great memories have been here”.

First off, Ice dance shouldn’t be anybody’s greatest memory. Secondly, I am terrible in math, but I know that moving to the US to find a partner at 14 and becoming a citizen at 20 does not mean that you have spent most of your life in the US. Thirdly, I believe she trains in Detroit, how on earth can that place make you want to be American, or give good memories? As a tip for the INS, she probably lives in Windsor and trains in Detroit, so she hasn’t actually been in the country that long. P.O. boxes aren’t that hard to get.

Tanith claimed she couldn’t find a partner in Canada, and the guy she found was in the US. Fine whatever, but drop the bullshit. You want to be a US citizen because that country is mad for that horrible half assed sport. If Canada wins a medal in any figure skating discipline we throw it on the pile to pad the numbers, but in the US if she lucks out and wins gold she’s a fucking millionaire. So don’t play dumb with us sweety, you’re pretty hot and if you win you are marketable. Case closed.

Tanith you aren’t the first turn coat bitch to piss me off and sell Canada out. But I am warning you, don’t hurt us, we need those bronze medals more than the US. Canada is the “home of the Bronze” and if you and Chicago Joe squeeze us off the podium you may just replace Brett Hull at the top my list. Ah, it’s only ice dance, you’ll never replace Hull, but I still hope you crash and burn, metophorically or in actuality.

God I would love to Tan “ith” her newly American hide. The balls on George Bush, during a war and an economic recession, to waste valuable time to make her a citizen. Nice job, you can have her.

To recap

Hockey - Brett Hull - Team USA
Politics - George Washington - 13 Colonies
Boxing - Lennox Lewis - Great Britain
Soccer - Owen Hargreaves - England
Tennis - Greg Rudeski, Mary Pierce - Great Britain & France
Fucking figure skating - Tanith Belbin - USA

Fuck them all