A ramble about Hip Saturday nights

To quote a fine Canadian band:

"It's not the band I hate it's their fans"

Just saw a Tragically hip show on Saturday in St.Adele, Quebec. I love the band, still do, always will. It isn't blind love though, the shows aren't as good as they use to be, some of that is lost hype, but the rest is just that the shows aren't as good. Saturday night the badn was awesome, but Gordie was a bit weak. A big problem is when the Hip hit their heights "Trouble at the hen house"(Arena tours, back to back sold out nights, headlining festivals, Satrurday Night Live etc.) Gord Downie picked up a guitar. Why, I will never know, but this much is sure, as soon as he straps on the acoustic the song they are about to play is going to be a waste of you time. The man has a imagine (dancing fool, poet, lunatic) and the guitar destoys it, it tames him for no reason because I defy you to hear him playing it at any point during a show. Oh it's in his arms, but you WILL NOT hear his stringed contribution. I doubt the thing is even plugged in. The band already has 2 guitarists, who thought giving him one was a good idea?

I am totally off topic.

Disregard the problems, I love seeing the hip live, but I fucking hate their fans. Apart from literally hating everybody regardless of situation, I actually dipise these people. Saturday night I had the usual things to hate, such as the buff dude who refuses to where a shirt, the old guy who tells me that I haven't seen the hip until I've seen them in (insert name here)...actually this is a good place to stay on topic, but go off a little bit.

Saturday night I met the "you haven't seem'em until" and he was a old fucker (another group to hate) who happened to be an American (hate American Hip fans) and his deal was that apperhently after 30 or so Hip shows in a variety of cities and venues, including I might add, seeing them touring their first album at the Tulip Festival in Ottawa (totally by accident and I forgot entirely until a shit swaping story a few years ago) he felt I had never seen the Hip because, this is where it gets great, I had never seen them in the States.

Was he fucking kidding? Sure I would love to see them play a small show in a bar, but I would like there to be a few people in the room when they play. He assured me the best part of the experience was that there was nobody there.

I imagine seeing them play in Kingston is something to behold and somehting I would like to do sooner rather than later, but fuck. It's always better in the US of A. These people ignore the Hip and have made Lyndsay Lohan a STAR, but I should take this assholes advice and see a Hip show there because it's easy to get a seat? After you read the rest of this you might think it will be better for me.

To go way off topic the USA has made the following Canadian artists superstars since 1988 while ignoring the Hip

-The Barenaked ladies (I just shit my pants)
-Avril Lavinge (I just ate the shit in my pants)
-Celine Dion (fuck, shit, bitch, fuck, shit...)
-The Moffats (seriously, nobdoy said it had to last, but they were big)
-A Simple plan (the worst music ever recorded, after each album they shot the engineer and producer to try and stop the plague, no luck)
-Alanis Morrisette (my hatred for her has died down, but we have to accept that she is nowhere near as talented as the Hip)
-Nickleback (remember what I said about A Simple Plan well TIMES ONE BILLION for these assholes)
-Nelly Furtado (I'm like a bird was great, that's it, she has probably sold 10 times more albums than the Hip just because of the USA)

So take that list that I have just given you and consider whether or not you would take the advice of a yanky on where to see a Hip show.

Back to the hating the fans. Douche bags with no shirts, assholes with tales of glory and of course blond girls who have no fucking clue what they are watching, yet still require their shirtless boyfriends to put them on their shoulders so they can wave hands back and forth (totally out of sequence with the band I might add). What the fuck is going on? Ladies, unless you are on the shoulders to flash your boobs, get the fuck down.

Worst of all is the 40 year old guy and his forty year old friend and his forty year old wife and her forty year old friend who go to the show. (short version, the 4 forty year olds) Why are they the worst? Because no matter what happens, they treat that mediocre show as the greatest night there ever was and that will ever be. Their faces are strained like a dump waiting to happen. They are forcing the fun so hard it ruins my fun. Spotting them is easy, they will drink three beers, and immediately appear drunk. Lips to the glass, first sip, hmmered, no joke. They are acting. Smoking joints...opps, not smoking them, holding them in their hands and occassionally waving as though they were conducting a orchestra, putting them in their mouths and leaning into on another to sing the lyric of the song they sort of know. This is the greatest night of their life. I can't take my eyes off of these people because none of them are actually having a good time. They are just trying so hard to show one another they are having a good time. Seems like a small thing, but let me tell you, when you aren't drunk enough it makes you so fucking sour.

The final thing I hate, not the last, the final for this post, is the people who cheer when they play New Orleans is Sinking. Girls go bananas, guy rush the stage, people sing along, oh the humanity. I hate that fucking song. Even before I was an actual fan, I hated that song and the video. I came around a bit when they used it as a way to field test new material in a kind of medley, but they don't do that now so I am back to hating it. That album has 11 songs on it and 7 of them are head and shoulders above New Orleans. Plain and simple. But do the hip play them? Like fuck, because they are legally required to play that shit song by the guy with no shirt and the girl that doesn't know another song.

Hip fans, you're ruining it for all of us.