I can write the future PART 1

I have always had the power to predict the future.

"Why aren't you a millionaire" you are asking yourself?

Good question.

I don't know why we assume that the ability to see, predict or affect the future is tied to lotto winnings. My ability is very specific and involves an essentially useless, but pleasant skill. I have the ability to think of a movie, in like a "I wish that movie was on TV tonight", kind of way and have that movie be broadcast within 2 weeks. And yes, I am serious. For instance, I thought of "New Waterford Girl" two weeks ago and it was broadcast 7 days later. If I thought of "For the love of the game" last week it would be broadcast somewhere for me to see this week, or early next (I'll let you know what happens, my heart really wasn't in that).

This ability won't win me millions in lotto money, but I don't really have to rent that many old movies. Generally when I get a feeling about a film, I tell my wife and two weeks later she says "Shut up" when CB4 is on PIX. It happens a lot, and no I don't read TV guide.

In a moderately related, but incredibly freaky example of this type of power, I was in a bar last year that was playing the worst music ever. Their soundtrack was like 1991-1993 and not in a good way. Anyway, after 6 beers I said "This is the worst shit I have ever heard, but you know I could do with hearing 'Motown Philly'. " Well 2 songs later there is was. That one was crazy because it was immeditae, witht he movie thing after two weeks or waiting for a movie, I am never really up for it the way I was when I thought of it.

Like I said, it is a limited ability, of little use to anyone but me, but it is the ability to see, predict, or affect the future in even the slightest way. I have always wanted to develop my skill and lately I think it is working. I can bitch about something in my office and it will be fixed or addressed that day without my asking. Or I can bitch out a co-worker and without fail that person will come around the corner mid sentence. It is like I am being bugged. I seem to have “foot in mouth" powers. Obliviously, career wise, this one is much less useful than the movie thing.

On a more positive note, of late, when I write something, letter to the editor or a blog, I seem to get the answer, or have it thrown at me within days. I have two examples today. In a blog post last week I told environmentalists to fuck off and die, and they answered me today. I was basically super pissed that nobody talks about the ozone hole anymore. Well my calls have been answered. Dusting off the "What I cared about in 1994" almanac, scientists have released this story.... I guess we'll hear back in 2065

http://edition.cnn.com/2006/TECH/science/08/18/ozone.hole.ap/index.html

Scientists: Ozone layer recovery will take longer
Friday, August 18, 2006 Posted: 1407 GMT

Scientists now say it will take until 2065 for the ozone layer to recover and the hole over the Antarctic to close. GENEVA, Switzerland (AP) --
The atmosphere will take up to 15 years longer than previously expected to recover from pollution and repair its ozone hole over the southern hemisphere, the United Nations' weather organization said Friday.

Thinning in the ozone layer -- due to chemical compounds leaked from refrigerators, air conditioners and other devices -- exposes the Earth to harmful solar rays. Too much ultraviolet radiation can cause skin cancer and destroy tiny plants at the beginning of the food chain.

Scientists said Friday it would take until 2065, instead of 2050 as previously expected, for the ozone layer to recover and the hole over the Antarctic to close.

"The Antarctic ozone hole has not become more severe since the late 1990s, but large ozone holes are expected to occur for decades to come," ozone specialist Geir Braathen told reporters in summarizing a new report by the World Meteorological Organization and the U.N. Environment Program. The report will be released next year.

The ozone hole, a thinner-than-normal area in the upper stratosphere's radiation-absorbing gases, has formed each year since the mid-1980s at the end of the Antarctic winter in August, and generally is at its biggest in late September. Experts said they extended the projected recovery because chlorofluorocarbons, or CFCs, would continue to leak into the atmosphere from air conditioners, aerosol spray cans and other equipment for years to come. But there was cause for celebration, they said, noting a decline in CFCs in the first two atmospheric layers above Earth.

"The level of ozone-depleting substances continues to decline from its 1992-1994 peak in the troposphere and the late 1990s peak in the stratosphere," WMO secretary-general Michel Jarraud said in a statement. Less of these chemicals are used every year, he said, after 180 countries in 1997 committed to reducing CFCs under the Montreal Protocal.

"This shows that the Montreal Protocol is effective and is working," he said.

Last year, the ozone hole reached about 27 million square kilometers (10 million square miles) on September 20 -- just below its largest size in 2003 of about 29 million square kilometers (11.2 million square miles), WMO experts said.

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Now you know, smart ass