Moustaches and children don't mix

I just watched a TV show where custody of an orphaned child was decided between two brothers.

Fair enough, a choice between equals. One uncle lived alone on a farm and the other lived with his wife in the city. The young girl went to the city.

That is okay, but they gave custody to a man with a moustache. The other uncle was clean shaven. Turns out the famr guy was a gem and the city uncle sold the girl into sex slavery. This was like a light in the dark for me.

I don't care what type of wrath I incure, I am just going to say it.

In a custody battle, gay/straight/husband/wife/gaurdian/friend the child should always go to the peson without the moustache. Case closed.