Happy Birthday Kenny Loggins

Being that it was just Kenny Loggins’ birthday I though I would say a little about how rich this cocksucker is. Mr. Soundtrack is rich and he never really had to do anything.

Is it just me, or is it fucking crazy that Loggins wrote so many hits for movie soundtracks in the 1980’s, and yet couldn’t put anything worth listening to on an album?

Don’t answer because it is crazy.

Caddy Shack – I’m alright
Footloose - Footloose
Top Gun – Danger zone
Over the Top – Meet me halfway
Caddy Shack 2 – Nobody’s Fool

All of these songs were huge, top tens, number 1’s whatever. All of these movies with the notable exception of Over the top and Caddy Shack 2 were huge hits and they owe some of their success to having his song blaring in the commercial. In the case of Caddy Shack 2, the song was the only good thing about the film (Silverman and Gleason for Chevy Chase and Dangerfield is a pretty fucked up trade. How broke were the producers that they couldn’t buy Dangerfield’s services in the late 80’s?). This guy and his fucking hit making abilities…

I fucking hate hit makers, HATE THEM!

Didn’t anybody tell Loggins that it wasn’t the 50’s or 60’s were it was possible to just wing off hits like it’s going out of style. He only wrote songs for a few movies and they were all hits. Even the B-side “Playing with the boys” influenced society by launching the 80’s gay movement (as far as I am concerned). Who could forget the immortal line Slider used to taunt Goose? “Mother Goose, you pussy”. My god the volleyball! The poses, the digs, the sweat. There was something for everyone. From the Beef cakes, Cruise and Kilmer to the geekish good looks of Anthony Edwards all set to the song “I'm playing with the boys”. I defy you to find a closeted gay man in 1986 who didn’t come out after that scene and that song.

So Loggins lays down a track or two for these albums and gets paid like nobody has ever been paid before and influences society. ASSHOLE.

To make matters worse, his soundtrack songs are suddenly appearing in new movies. This guy is getting paid twice for the same 15 minutes worth of work. FUCKING HITMAKER……….