A rumbling wreck about a bear a woman and a drunk man

I was in a fist fight with a polar bear when it suddenly started to rain. Paid attention a little to long and that damned bear put me down with a dirty blow. Lying on the canvass facing the referees count of 6 I sprung to my feet, but I couldn't shake that rain. An environmentalist would look in the mirror. Raining in the arctic? Wait a minute, V8, turbo charged those melting icecaps are my responsibility. Of course I am a boxer by trade and not being an environmentalist I focused my wet rage on that polar bear and knocked him the fuck out.

That is how I roll. You know why?

Cause that bear eats too many fish and too many seals to be blaming me for anything. Everything I use is already dead. It's called fossil fuel for a reason, that douche bag polar bear eats live seals. How is that helping anybody? Anyway, you can see where the rage came from when I faked left and head butted that fucking pretty white Bruin right on the nose.

"And keep out of my fucking trash can" I screamed as I dropped an elbow on his head.

BOOM, from nowhere I was out. 2 bears? dirty trick? Nope.

Of course I woke up in a pool of my own urine beside the halfdead corpse of a woman in a white fur coat. You see kids, I had been drinking heavily the night before, and was enjoying something called a polar bear. Being smart I left my turbo charged car at home and walked from the party with the screen door back to my house. Yes I fell in a ditch and knocked my head and yes when I got up I probably killed that woman in a drunken fit. The rain was piss and so was I. So there you have it, there was no fucking polar bear, but guess what. Who the fuck was that lady to talk to me about the ozone at 4AM? She probably eats a lot of seals.

Crazy Web Pole, Stupid Results

Just participated in an online survey on CNN web site that asked the question

"did the media treat Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes fairly?"

Topical question given the Vanity fair article. Now I don't really give a shit one way or another, but an amazing 53% of the respondants said YES, they were treated fairly.

Now that I can't believe. Over 50% of people believe that stating any of the following unfounded accusations is fair treatment.

-Tom Cruise is Gay
-The baby came from a sperm donor
-The baby does not exist
-Tom has Katie trapped in the house
-Tom Crusie is insane or mentally unbalanced

CNN may not have reported all of these speculative falsehoods, but in combination most celebrity "news" sources have. So unless you live in a bubble of CNN news with no other information, I find it hard to believe calling somebody a sterile fag that has locked up his wife in a lavish prison becuase you he is so fucking crazy is fair treatement unless you are talking about Ted Bundy.