Stars and stripes forever

Our world is almost perfect today. The United States, a country of 270 million people, a country with the Rockies, a country that has hosted the winter Olympics FOUR TIMES (Twice in the same city and 2 times in the last 25 years), a country that invests more money in illegal drug doping technology than Russia and China combined, a country that is so fucking cocky it makes you want to spit on them every time you see one, the United States... has won 9 medals as of the 9th day of these Olympic games.

Hey that's pretty good you’re thinking at home. Sure, you might be right, except they have one exactly 2 medals in events that existed before the bullshit event explosion, post the 1988 games.

GREAT!

If not for the halfpipe. Yeah I said halfpipe. If not for the halfpipe, the USA would have 5 medals. A judging sport. A sport where athletic ability, stamina and true competition take a back seat to Xbox abilities.

GREAT!

If not for Snowboarding. Yeah I said snowboarding. If not for snowboarding, the USA would have won 4 medals. So if not for a sport that does not consider Marijuana a banned substance, even though it's illegal, the USA would have 4 medals.

Lest we forget that for 3 years, 11 months and 1 week people who "compete" in this "sport" are considered slacker parasites by the ENTIRE FUCKING ESTABLISHMENT. The only positive "performance" for USA athletes has come from people in the anti-establishment. These "Athletes" are on the shoulders of a nation for three weeks, but when March comes they are the same people who will be yelled at on the slopes of Vail, forced off the property at the top resorts and told to get real jobs. I FUCKING LOVE IT!

"God bless America, land that I love. Stand beside her, and guide her...."

Does anybody know what all of this really means? Well firstly, given the history of these types of "events" they probably will not get reupped for the next games. These alternative sports are ever changing and different events are introduced every year and events like "Snowboarding cross" will be replaced by "Snowboarding combined" or some bullshit. Don't believe me? Well where is Downhill ballet? So in the next games the mighty USA will stand next to no chance at finding the podium.

So what does that mean?

Well a bad set of games this year, and a worse set in 2010 means that in 2014 the Olympic coverage for the winter games will be non-existent. Do you know how great that is? Oh my God, I can barely control my bowels. You mean I will actually see coverage of Speed skating, Cross country skiing and the downhill?

Don't believe me? Well the usually arrogant American press (NBC) has 2 stories on their site today that go something like this.

"Bode Miller is not bothered about Olympic medals and could walk away from the sport of ski racing at any time without a single regret, the American says in an interview."

"Sometimes winners don't get a medal"

Sounds kind of like Canadian coverage, doesn't it?

Face it, American coverage revolves around the glamour events and events they might win. Take one of those out of the equation and what are they left with? Figure skating. Now there is a great test of strength, speed and ability. FUCK OFF.

Now I can't blow my load too early. The real sports will have to hold it together this year. We can't have any guys named Apollo, Brody, Chest or Chad win a god damned thing.

I won't be able to sleep tonight, I am so excited, after all 2014 is just around the corner.