Friday, February 10, 2006

Grammys fucked themselves - part 2

This extensive list is the worst collection of music I have ever seen. EVER! I own over 1000 cd's, all ranges and types (but basically, modern pop, rock etc.) and if I do a quick count of these songs I have 15 of them on CD. (one totally by accident, it's on a soundtrack)


15!

I have 15 of the songs of the year on CD. Am I out of touch? Or is it possible that I own too many! Is it that in 47 years maybe 10 of these songs are still recognizable today, outside of the world of comedy and the Simpsons.

2006 - U2 for "Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own." I own it, but I have idea how it goes. -1 (14)
2005 - John Mayer for "Daughters" I am not a 16 year old girl, but I think he is.
2004 - Richard Marx and Luther Vandross for "Dance With My Father". Now he is buryed with his father.
2003 - Norah Jones for "Don't Know Why". Neither do I. Enough said.

2002 - Alicia Keys for "Fallin'". I don't know. She's hot I guess.
2001 - U2 for "Beautiful Day" It grew on me, but how is it that this is U2's last apperence. Ruined the surprise.
2000 - Carlos Santana featuring Rob Thomas* "Smooth". Hate this song.
1999 - Celin Dion "My Heart Will Go On". FUCK OFF. No other words necessary.

1998 - Shawn Colvin for "Sunny Came Home". This song is bullshit. Eddie Brickell is rolling in her grave.
1997 - Eric Clapton & Babyface / Wynonna for "Change the World". I have never heard of this song.
1996 - Seal for "Kiss From a Rose". Batman and Robins biggest caper to date.
1995 - Bruce Springsteen for "Streets of Philadelphia" . It's good, or as good as an AIDS song can be.
1994 - Regina Belle & Peabo Bryson for "A Whole New World (Aladdin's Theme)". Disney songs suck
1993 - Eric Clapton for "Tears in Heaven". Worst Clapton song ever. Only winner. -2 (13)
1992 - Irving Gordon for "Unforgettable" performed by Natalie Cole with Nat King Cole. What was wrong with the original?
1991 - Bette Midler for "From a Distance" Now you know why grunge started. It wasn't hair metal.
1990 - Bette Midler* for "Wind Beneath My Wings" What was going on in 1990-91
1989 - Bobby McFerrin for "Don't Worry, Be Happy" Can it be it just keeps getting worse
1988 - James Ingram & Linda Ronstadt "Somewhere Out There" Fifle? fucking fifle?
1987 - Elton John, Gladys Knight, Dionne Warwick & Stevie Wonder for "That's What Friends Are For". This song is so bad i can't understand what happened. Somebody must have asked for a favour. "Sing my song, please. I am going broke". that's what friends are for. how is this Elton's only win?
1986 - Lionel Richie & Michael Jackson for "We Are the World". Band aid was way better than this shit.
1985 - Tina Turner for "What's Love Got to Do with It?" Awsome, totally deserving (no I am serious)
1984 - Police for "Every Breath You Take" Can't argue, but I hate Sting
1983 - Willie Nelson for "Always on My Mind" Love Willy, love him.
1982 - Kim Carnes for "Bette Davis Eyes" A classic or a Guilty pleasure who cares
1981 - Christopher Cross for "Sailing" not exactly a classic
1980 - Kenny Loggins & Michael McDonald for "What a Fool Believes" performed by The Doobie Brothers - what fool believed this was a good song
1979 - Billy Joel for "Just the Way You Are" - fine but not his best
1978 - Barbra Streisand & Paul Williams for "Love Theme From A Star is Born (Evergreen)" give me a break
"You Light Up My Life" performed by Debby Boone - wait a minute a tie and I hate both of them
1977 - Barry Manilow for "I Write the Songs" Written by someone else. Whatever.
1976 - Judy Collins for "Send in the Clowns" - to quote sideshow Mel "they're already here". They picked this song
1975 - Barbra Streisand for "The Way We Were" Absolute 70's crap
1974 - Roberta Flack for "Killing Me Softly With His Song" very good song
1973 - Roberta Flack "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" another great from Flack
1972 - Carole King for "You've Got a Friend" I hate this woman. She is why the ERA didn't pass -3 (12)
1971 - Simon and Garfunkelfor "Bridge Over Troubled Water" Good, but too gay
1970 - Joe South for "Games People Play" ????
1969 - Roger Miller / O.C. Smith for "Little Green Apples" and again, but just the guys this time ????
1968 - 5th Dimension for "Up, Up and Away" These guys beat the Beatles. A song about a magical ballon (not titled Levon) won an award. Go figure. -4 (11)
1967 - The Beatles for "Michelle" What else. I guess they had to stop fucking ignoring the biggest, most popular, most significant band in the world. Thanks for 1 trophy.
1966 - Tony Bennett for "The Shadow of Your Smile" (Love Theme From The Sandpiper)
1965 - Louis Armstrong for "Hello, Dolly!" this is just sad
1964 - Henry Mancini for "Days of Wine and Roses" I can't name the tune but I do hate Mancini, the only man in North America writing music apperently.
1963 - Anthony Newley for "What Kind of Fool Am I" the kind of who picked this bullshit
1962 - Henry Mancini "Moon River" more mellow shit for your dentist's office
1961 - Ernest Gold for "Theme From Exodus" play it on your way out
1960 - Jimmy Driftwood for "The Battle of New Orleans" Name that tune
1959 - Domenico Modugno for "Nel Blu Dipinto di Blu (Volare)" Ignoring coming trends


So after all is said and done, Elvis' comeback (in the Ghetto, Suspicious minds) ignored. The Rolling Stones nowehere and 1 fuckign Beatle's song. Bette Midler won 2 years in a row. Clearly, unless you are a no talent American hack, you cannot win this award. Sure there are some exceptions, but think about popular music since 1965 and then name the significant Artists, then name the significant American artists. One last thing. The find those significant American artists on this list. Spoiler, they aren't there.

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