After Thoughts on Canada's Olympic Hockey Team

There was a lot of talking after Canada failed to win the hockey gold at the 2006 Olympics. I think everybody missed the point. Sure the guys didn't have the practice time/familiarity to gel as a team. Sure the schedule was too hard, but I think the real failure was we did not utilize the true skills of the entire organization.

To be a real bastard, since we didn't win the Gold I think Canada's hockey team would have been more fun to watch if the behind the scene history and stories of the team were forced down our throats instead of meaningless statistics.

In all honesty, when it comes to the Olympics or any other major international competition where Canada is concerned, its gold or nothing. Fuck it, I don't care about medal totals in the Olympics that much. I do not want to see "Bronze" beside the Canadian men’s hockey team. Better to explode than lose the championship game or worse still win the loser game.

In the Spengler Cup or the annual World Championship it is huge when we win the Gold, but if we don’t, does anybody really care? So the same holds true for the big games.

So on that note.

I would like to introduce "MY" Canadian Men’s All-star Team as far a debauchery and corruption go.

In Goal -

Martin Brodeur. A man who cheated on his wife with her sister. A nice Ottawa connection there too as that is where the Mistress/sister in law lives. I love the balls on a guy who wants to fuck every piece of ass in a family. Think about it. My wife is a hell cat in the sack, but her sister is hot too and she hasn’t had any kids. That is millionaire balls, plain and simple.

Forwards -

Dany Heatly. Murdered close friend and team mate in a high-speed traffic accident. Admitted to drinking that night, lost control of one of the world’s best handling vehicles in a 35 mph zone. Said he wasn’t speeding. I am sure Pelle Lindberg would have said the same thing.

Todd Bertuzzi. Nice assault and battery in an on-ice incident. Many pending lawsuits. This guy is huge and he ploughed that tiny little guy and knocked him out with one punch, and it was from behind. Nice dirty fighter.

Joe Thornton. Beat up a cop in a bar fight involving his brother. No respect for authority. Another huge guy and the cop he hit was from St. Thomas. Tiny little hole in the wall, guaranteed the cop was half his size…and the cops name started with Miss.

Coaching and Administration -

Pat Quinn. One of the people sighted as aiding in the end of the career of Bobby Orr. Notable cigar smoking (Cuban Cigars?) thug, who was never known for his on ice skills.

Wayne Gretzky. Wife has a horrible gambling problem, but forget all that and look a little deeper for some trends. His friends and associates are not just linked to organized crime, but have actually served time. Not just Tocceht, think McNall, Pocklington, Skalbania (no jail time, btu a sketchy businessman). THINK ABOUT IT! Messier and Fuhr were coke heads. He put Theo Fleury on the last team. Played with Kevin Stevens. Good friend of Lemieux the Teflon don of rape. Good friend and coaching protégé, Marty McSorley, was the original Dino Ciccarelli when it comes to on ice assault. It goes on and on like this.

All of this goes to say that, like it or not, the Canadian 2006 team was hard as nails and we should have used it. We should have made people fear us from a skill and societal menace perspective. We had a guy who killed somebody with a Ferrari playing for us IN ITALY and we don't use that? Crazy! Street cred is huge in today's society. Talk it up.

Murder, assault, racketeering, all nice medals when your talking trash. Our leader, Gretzky (The Teflon Don of Hockey), through years of million dollar business dealings has assemble a rolodex of some of the worst business men in the history of sport. We had players who beat and kill at will and we were ashamed of them? Fuck it, play it up.

We should have gone local. Canada had its own little mafia going in Italy and we should have stuffed it down people throats.

Cross the street here come the Canadians. Instead we lost to the fucking Swiss.

Just my opinion. If you stock a team with thugs use every one of their skills, not just their hockey skills.