Hypothetical smell based on a true story

In Las Vegas, the only garbage that litters the street is discarded pornography. It comes in the forms of magazines, flyers and most notably business cards. The cards are fun to collect, but the best part about the cards are the people who distribute them.

Walk down the strip at night in Las Vegas and the world is a wash in fat old white people with more money than sense,

AND

Mexicans handing out porn cards. There are Men, Women, Boys and Girls all Mexican (Latino... same thing when placed in the context of a story such as this) spending their Las Vegas nights giving you what you really need, the telephone numbers of the city's finest hookers.

The fact that this marketing device exist is pretty incredible in itself. The fact that it is legal in a place as oppressive as the USA is also pretty incredible, but I guess that is the magic of Las Vegas.

Anyway, these dear soles pack the street corners of the strip and basically assault you with these cards. And you have three options.

Give up, accept them with a smile and make a little game out of it. Tradesies etc.

Be a fucking tight assed prude and ignore them and look disgusted as you consider the offence of a stranger offering you a gateway to fornicate.

Try and avoid street corners at all cost

I make no recommendations of course, but I think my choice is clear. Being drunk helps my choice a lot.

Truthfully, I think it is all part of the Vegas experience. The city (my favourite on earth) is a fucking toilet, with no true redeeming qualities. The dumbest of the dumb lose their money there and the poorest of the poor work there and above everybody is a corporate monster that takes everybody’s money, worker and gambler a like. But it is a great four days. Okay I’ll say it, I recommend that everybody take the cards. Get drunk, make an ass out of your self and walk up to the first child you see pawning this stuff and grab a handful. Don't feel guilty when strangers give you "the look", just say "thanks little girl, if you're recommending her, maybe I'll give her a shot...if you know what I mean." Give a wink and walk away. This is what Vegas is all about. Loud, obnoxious and pornographic. You have to look a little harder these days, but it is worth the look.

Now that you have the information you need to make a choice, you should be on the look out for something. The smell. Consider the source and the building blocks in place that create the odour.

First you have VERY low paid immigrants (legal/illegal) handing out porno business cards in the desert sun and they work until at least 2am. All day on their feet in the desert, probably gets them $20. Second, over their regular cloths, they wear shirts that say "Ask me about naked women". I know, it’s awesome right?

This is where the real problem arises because these aren't their shirts, these are company shirts. I know because I asked to buy one (comedy, drunkenness you get the picture) and they wouldn't sell it, regardless of price. They said they were not allowed.

So when their day is over, they get back on the truck and hand over the shirt for the next batch of young go getters to hand out the porn cards. Here is the rub, nobody is washing those shirts, I guarantee it.

Put these words together and think about what aroma comes to mind.

Immigrants (legal/illegal) / Desert heat / Street vendor / Pornography / polyester uniform / unwashed

For me there is no description, the mere idea of such an occurrence should be a smell unto itself. I believe that the name of the smell should be:

Poly-porn-imma-desrt ordor

You’ll get a lot of warnings about Vegas, like “$79 only gets her to your room”, or “if they serve alcohol the bottoms stay on”, or “at the buffet, stay away from the Chinese food.” My warning is about the smell, just be ready for it. Don’t be afraid. I don't know how to close except to say, get out there and give the unsung hero's of the porn and prostitution industry a hug. They are working for your gratification. You sick bastards.