Thursday, January 26, 2006

ESPN come on down, you're the first group of sports fools to report the obvious

I am full of shit and I know nothing. Except that, according to ESPN, I was right about the Thornton trade.

Click here to read stories ESPN lifted from me (probably, but I can't prove it).

http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/recap?gameId=260126001

No time to click?

Well in short, on January 26, 2006 ESPN reported...

"The Bruins won their third straight and reached the .500 mark for the first time since November 12."

So they're getting better since the trade?

"Sturm, Brad Stuart and Primeau have combined for 23 goals and 20 assists in 24 games since being acquired from the San Jose Sharks for Joe Thornton. "

So these guys are proving their worth? Thornton has 8 goals and 25 assists and 33 pts. since the trade. So like 43 pts. is more right?

"The Bruins improved to 13-8-3 in that span."


Weren't they 8-13-5 before the trade?

Well fuck, 2pts out of a playoff spot. New recruits performing. I will say no more until something major happens, except that I was right the day after the trade and ESPN says I am right today.

Keep on dancing Wilbur!

Holy Shit!

I was shocked by the news that until yesterday actor Chris Penn was ALIVE!

Well did I ever miss out. Keep on dancing Wilbur!

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Vegas in September

It is killing me, but I am not going to go to Vegas in June. Instead I have started dreaming/planning a trip in September.

Jason and I have batted about an Arizona NFL trip a couple of times, but this time it is going to happen. Markus mentioned September in Vegas earlier this week and it got me thinking.

Now when I go on vacation I like "HEAT" and while Vegas is in the desert it ain't always hot. However, it is hot in September. Here is what you need to know about the weather in Las Vegas in September -September begins at 40 degrees, averages 35 and enters October at 28. That is great pool weather as far as I am concerned. I need a couple of hours by the pool everyday. It is the only thing in the city you can do for free and I like to drink and the pool strikes me as a great place to do just that.

On top of the weather, September/October is always like the alignment of the planets in the world of sports. Every sport is starting, ending or in progress. I love the sports book and this is "THE" time of the year at the book.

As for the NFL aspect of the trip.

Glendale Arizona is 467km away from downtown Vegas. A nice 4 hour drive, we rent a van this time, bring some tunes, share the driving and we have it made in the shade.

The 2006 schedule is not out yet, but we know the season begins on September 7th. The first Sunday of the season is September 10th. The other potential dates are the 17th, 24th and October 1st. Now obviously these aren't all home dates, but if we can get 2 out of four we have some nice options.

If we were to gamble on potential opponents, the Cardinals will be playing the following teams at home this season. St. Louis, San Francisco, Seattle, Chicago, Detroit, Denver, Kansas City and Dallas

As for prices, as of January it looks like we can do Vegas in September for anywhere $750 at the Flamingo/Excalibur/Hooters, $800 at the New York, New York/Monte Carlo. The other name hotels are between $900 and $1100.

So for the bare bone facts

Weekends - September 10, 17, 24 & October 1
Temperature - 35 Degrees Celsius
Travel to Arizona - 4 hours - 467 km

Price - $700 - $800

Update
Don Rickels is in Vegas in September - a lot of racism goes along way.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Thornton who?

It’s official, the Bruins are better without Joe Thornton.

Before the trade the team was – 8 – 13 – 5

After the trade the team is – 10 – 8 – 3

In December, the team began and ended the month without Thornton and they finished December at – 6 – 5 – 1

To-date in January the team is - 5 – 3 – 2

So in 2 months with Joe Thornton the team was below .500, and in 2 months without Joe Thornton the team is above .500.

Was it Joe’s fault alone? Of course not, but the kid was mailing it in and he made too much fucking money to be such a pussy. I can’t and won’t blame Thornton alone, Sullivan is much more to blame, but a pussy captain with zero commitment to the team, who is making the money is better on someone else’s team.

That terrible trade from late November looks better everyday.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Happy Birthday Kenny Loggins

Being that it was just Kenny Loggins’ birthday I though I would say a little about how rich this cocksucker is. Mr. Soundtrack is rich and he never really had to do anything.

Is it just me, or is it fucking crazy that Loggins wrote so many hits for movie soundtracks in the 1980’s, and yet couldn’t put anything worth listening to on an album?

Don’t answer because it is crazy.

Caddy Shack – I’m alright
Footloose - Footloose
Top Gun – Danger zone
Over the Top – Meet me halfway
Caddy Shack 2 – Nobody’s Fool

All of these songs were huge, top tens, number 1’s whatever. All of these movies with the notable exception of Over the top and Caddy Shack 2 were huge hits and they owe some of their success to having his song blaring in the commercial. In the case of Caddy Shack 2, the song was the only good thing about the film (Silverman and Gleason for Chevy Chase and Dangerfield is a pretty fucked up trade. How broke were the producers that they couldn’t buy Dangerfield’s services in the late 80’s?). This guy and his fucking hit making abilities…

I fucking hate hit makers, HATE THEM!

Didn’t anybody tell Loggins that it wasn’t the 50’s or 60’s were it was possible to just wing off hits like it’s going out of style. He only wrote songs for a few movies and they were all hits. Even the B-side “Playing with the boys” influenced society by launching the 80’s gay movement (as far as I am concerned). Who could forget the immortal line Slider used to taunt Goose? “Mother Goose, you pussy”. My god the volleyball! The poses, the digs, the sweat. There was something for everyone. From the Beef cakes, Cruise and Kilmer to the geekish good looks of Anthony Edwards all set to the song “I'm playing with the boys”. I defy you to find a closeted gay man in 1986 who didn’t come out after that scene and that song.

So Loggins lays down a track or two for these albums and gets paid like nobody has ever been paid before and influences society. ASSHOLE.

To make matters worse, his soundtrack songs are suddenly appearing in new movies. This guy is getting paid twice for the same 15 minutes worth of work. FUCKING HITMAKER……….

China is pissing me off

Do I hate Chinese baby girls, no

BUT

Why does it seem that if you are white and over 40, not necessarily a lesbian but probably, you bought a Chinese girl in 2005?

It is fucking crazy. I guess the thinking is that if everything we buy is from China, why shouldn't EVERYONE we buy be from China.

I think that the spirit of the adoption is fantastic, but why is everybody buying Chinese girls? What about buying African HIV orphans, or any number of other available souls for sale? My money is on the fact that Chinese girls are the cheapest available option that is close to white. You can buy babies from Eastern Europe, but that pale European skin will cost you.

The real answer to my question is that Chinese girls are for sale and the government wants us to buy them. If you have US$25,000 you can buy a nice healthy girl.

This century is reportedly China's for the taking. Well good news bad news China. Maybe you should ask yourself, if you sell all of your baby machines who is going to keep your engine running? During the history of world economic domination, Spain ran out of gold, Britain's machines got old, the US got too expensive and I predict that China will fall prey to a lack of women. Today alone, there are 50 million lonely men in China under the age of 65. I wonder what the military dictators think of homosexuals? If they sell all of their girls who are all of their boys are going to fuck?

Let me make one thing perfectly clear; the thing that bothers me about the adoption of Chinese girls is not race related. I am bothered most by the fact that "adopters" are entering this arrangement with love in their hearts looking to create the family their gayness or bareness won’t let them do the good ol'fashion way, China is doing this for the money.

Not money. No way. Really? You think? Money? How much money?

If we lived in a perfect world, Chinese girl exports would be reportable as a commodity so the world could see exactly what is going on. I was in a doctor’s office yesterday and saw 5 babies from China all the same age. That is US$125,000 worth of babies. Later that day I walked by a woman with 3 Chinese babies. That is US$75,000, for a grand total of US$200,000. That is one day, one city, one area and one angry guys observations. I don't even know how to do an estimate for a national total on that, but if that happens to me 4 more times this year, which it probably will I have personally seen US$1 million worth of exports walking around. Why do I think it will happen 4 more times this year? Well 23% of North Americans report knowing someone who has adopted a Chinese baby. I don’t know anyone and I still saw 5 babies in one day, without looking for it before hand. I have 11 months to bump into 15 Chinese babies. So basically it is going to happen.

Think about US$1 million worth of exports for a country with a GDP- PPP of US$6,000. The family wants a boy and dumps these girls until they get one. Here is a country whose citizen’s commit a crime by having these US$25,000 exports. They have the babies, have the shame, are forced to dump the baby and then get to watch as some slick cocksucker from Shanghai sells their baby for US$25,000. I don’t know whether or not to feel bad for them or spit in their face.

In 2005, the United States approved Visa’s for 8,000 adopted children from China. Say for arguments sake that the US represented 70% of all Chinese throwaways in 2005. That means that China took its share of US$200 million from the sale of PEOPLE in 2005 from the US alone. No I didn’t make a mistake. Sure, sure China doesn’t actually get the whole US$25,000 per baby. I guarantee you that some crooked American adoption agency looking for the freshest of the fresh gets the majority of the money, but let’s say China gets 10%. I don’t care who you are or what you are doing, in this day and age, nobody should be getting US$20 million for selling human beings. In China's case I can assure you that no matter how much money we give them for people they won't spend dime one fixing the “GIRL PROBLEM”.

Let’s talk a bit about this adoption phenomenon. Since 1994, the US alone has adopted more than 50,000 Chinese babies. That is US$1.25 billion worth of people bought by the US in a 10 year period. My guess is that Canada, Australia, UK etc., bought an additional 15,000 girls for US$375 million. So with their 10% of the chare, China has pulled in US$160 million for selling people since 1994.

We are giving a non-democratic, military run country with grievous human rights issues, which supports a policy that sees its citizen’s throwaway girls, US$20 million a year to sell us PEOPLE. Yeah that makes sense. As long as they can keep selling us cheap TV’s, toys, cloths and other useless bullshit for 10 cents, I guess it is okay that they sell people.

I honestly feel bad for these girls because they are all clearly Chinese but are named Brittany, Tiffany, Jessica or Emma. It's fucking crazy. In truth I feel sorry for these girls because I will always see them as commodities. I am ignorant and elitist and will always look at Chinese girls named Emma with 2 moms as poodles or whatever dog rich people are currently buying. It isn’t fair, but I will always look at the product and lay blame because it is too hard to go to China and yell at tanks.

Sorry girls, your beginning sucked, but welcome aboard.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

48 things the movie “Footloose” fucked up

Saturday night after midnight you have a couple of options on TV. You can pick 1980’s movies featuring the music of Kenny Loggins (more in a later post), soft and hardcore porn, sports highlights or infomercials.

I never really think about. It just seems like a given. I am going to watch “Footloose”.

I don’t know why I still watch these movies. When I was an 11 – 12 year old boy these were “THE” movies, but now they are so ridiculous I wonder how and why they were ever produced. “Footloose” isn’t alone. Grease, Top Gun, Footloose, Breakfast club, Dirty dancing, one of these movies will be on at least once a month, and inevitably I will watch them despite the fact that their mere existence makes me angry.

So Saturday night it was Footloose, the rarer film of the 1980’s collection of shit, it just isn’t on that often. To refresh your memory, a city slicker moves to farm country to live with relatives after some unrevealed unpleasantness/trouble in the city. His arrival sparks a revolution in his town as the right to dance pushes a town to the edge.

Fucking crazy right? This movie got made? What the hell?

Anyway, the city slicker is pitted against a small minded imperialistic preacher who is mourning the loss of a son and living with the shame of a slutty daughter. The internal community struggle produces a “to dance or not to dance” climax in the film. Why the war on dancing? I don’t know, but it seems that dancing leads to fucking and fucking is wrong. This is where they lose me every time.

This town is so fucked up, the kids are a mess and their priorities are clearly all wrong, but I don’t know how they chose dancing as the root of the problem. I feel like driving to this town and running for Mayor. As an outsider to the town, I think I could show them a few more pressing problems and together we could make things right. Vote Ben!

So here begins my problems with the movie Footloose. Please note that every point below should begin with “Why was dancing the problem when…”)

1- Drugs are sold openly in school. Some towns would consider this an issue. Worse still flushing drug evidence down the toilet seems to be the perfect get out of jail free card. Bacon gets caught with a joint, which he received free for some reason (I know give them a taste and they be back for more), and the teacher simply walks away once Bacon flushes it. It’s a high school, nothing has to stand up in court, he would be out on his ass in any other school in the country, but in this dance free zone flushing drugs in front of a teacher is fine. Sorry kids, I can’t condone drug use, but I do like the get up and go of Bacon to flush the evidence. FUCK THE MAN!

2- Sexual harassment is rampant. Dancing or no dancing, the girls are boy crazy, witness Sarah Jessica Parker cat calling Bacon as he walks the hall. There she is openly cat calling a boy in school while she is dating his best friend “Wilber”. Fortunately for Wilber Bacon is hands off because the leader of Parkers gang already pissed on his leg or whatever. Here we see that Bacon’s lady has so little respect for her relationship with her high school drop out boyfriend she openly plans her capture of Bacon the minute he walks past her… in a fucking tie.

Note to every “new kid in school”: don’t wear a tie on your first day. I don’t care what they wore at your old school. Wearing a tie on your first day is only going to lead to bad things.

3- The preacher’s son and his pre-film death are apparently the reason for the lack of dancing in this town. It seems that his death I also the reason for the lack of “Men at Work” cassettes in this town. What I can’t figure out is that the son died in an auto accident. Sure it was on the way back from a dance or whatever, but it was a car accident. So give that a traffic accident was the cause of death wouldn’t you think the town would beef up traffic laws?

Think what you want about dancing, but the kids in this town ride everywhere on motorbikes and nobody wears a helmet. Better still the girls riding on the bikes don’t wear shoes. On top of that problem, chicken races take place on a fairly regular basis by the looks of it (there is more time spent on chicken races than actual dancing) and yet there are never any cops around. In one case a trucker almost dies in a head on collision. Wouldn’t he report the incident to the police?

Note: is it more than a little sad that “men at work” and “the Police” where used in a sad, pun filled conversation of confusion exposing the musical ignorance of this town.

4- There is zero police presence in this town. For a hard assed town the only evidence of police was a traffic stop at three in the afternoon for a noise complaint. Okay, dancing/music, almost makes sense, but where are the cops when the hot girl does her slutty dance with the ghetto blaster outside of the diner? A popular late night hangout seems to be the perfect place to “crackdown” on the dancing problem. If you wanted to solve the problem wouldn’t you send the cops there every night to break up the teenage fun?

5- Alcohol abuse is everywhere. Now no matter what you do teenagers are going to get booze that is just a fact. One of the popular girls is going to be “doing” an older guy and he can get everybody beer. This is true of any town or city in the world. Girls are just better at getting useful mates. However, Bacon/Ren seems to have ready access to beer despite being a minor and a minor celebrity. One night Ren freaks out because of his intrusive uncles insinuations. He bolts out of the house and goes to the rail yard to listen to music and “Dance it off”. While doing it he drinks beer. Where the hell did a high school student get beer in this town? Everybody knew he was the new guy in town, staying at the uncle’s and going to the local high school. So who sold him the beer? In another case, the Preachers daughter danced in public with beer and then went home drunk, and yet alcohol sales are not a local issue, the fucking dancing is. Apparently, local retailers have no qualms with selling to minors and the town refuses to get in the way of commerce.

6- Fist fights are a daily occurrence; bar fights, domestic violence, bullies, boy on girl, girl on boy, girl on truck, 5 on 1, violence is ever presence in this town. However, teen violence is not an issue. The preacher’s own daughter came home black and blue after a beating from her ex-boyfriend (deserved as far as I am concerned. Come on she trashed his truck before he even laid a hand on her), but dancing is still the key point in the destruction of society.

7- A huge current of underlying homosexuality, sparked by the fact that most of the kids in town can’t dance. Bacon’s new friend, Wilber, learns to dance on a hay wagon while bacon claps, laughs and ogles. Pretty gay. Guys don’t teach their buddies how to dance, it’s just a fact. Gayer than that is that Wilber practices to dance regularly alone in tight jeans, a sweaty undershirt, cowboy hat and gloves…gloves? What about the previously mentioned “dancing it off” that Bacon does to relieve stress. GAY. Now is gayness a real world problem? No, of course not, but like I said I am running for mayor of this town. If you want to win an election in the Bible belt, blame gays.

Traffic safety, alcohol, drugs and violence, HUGE gay undertones all non issues, but dancing is a key problem. Well clearly the town is fucked.

So the story and premise are garbage, but the film doesn’t stop there. Couldn’t they have just told the story of a town with a lot of problems that needed a dance, instead of a town that needed real social help, but got a dance instead? I wish this was the end, but this movie was not satisfied being stupid, it pushed to put “Fucking” in front of that stupid review. Because of the complete lack of actual tension the film introduced absurd non-plot points to stir up the tension. These points take the film to all new levels. Can’t be that bad, right?

How about when a train yard is introduced which has become the states epicenter for young poets. Remember Ren bolting out of the house to dance off steam? Well Ren heads to the train yard to see what is in the hearts and minds of the local kids. Of course, before he can read poetry he needs to dance because up until this point there really hasn’t been any dancing. So Ren stops the action to treat us to a very gay, gymnastic heavy, dance routine. When Tarzan/Ren is “spent” he relaxes with a cigarette (he never smokes again) and the previously mentioned “effect” beer and starts reading poetry. No graffiti for this town, the “guerrilla” poetry is written inside of a train engine for some reason. This part of the film is so absurd I don’t know how to take it. The local kids can’t dance so they take out their frustration by going to secluded location, to listen to music and write poetry. Why don’t they just go there to dance? Why poetry? Why is this only mentioned once? Why is there nobody at the “very” popular rail yard when Ren shows up? Why poetry? Why poetry? Why poetry? To understand, or not understand. I have a lot of fucking question.

Dancing is a huge biblical issue, that is a given, but even for a film in the bible belt that outlaws dancing at the bequest of a preacher, there is too much bible. When the preacher “got served” by Ren in a “bible off” in front of the town council my world stopped spinning. Excuse me? Is this microphone working? A fucking line for line biblical battle to see if God likes dancing. Yes it actually happened. Unfortunately for the movies length, Ren’s bitch slap doesn’t work.

The town doesn’t start to warm to dancing until they begin burning books for some reason. It seems natural. The town that hates dancing suddenly rises up one Monday morning and attacks the local library and begins burning its inventory. I’m sorry, I can’t go any further. This is too fucking stupid. When this unspeakable event is combined with the preachers daughter recounting the opening of her legs under the alter, the preacher sees the error of his fascist hold over the town and gracefully allows a dance to occur in a different town he does not control. Okay Boss Hogg, that makes sense. What town in America is run by a preacher? What preacher controls all “danceable space” in 50 mile area? Who gives a shit if the “man from Delmonte says yes” in a sermon. A fucking sermon of all things gets the dance rolling.

Side note: Ren asks the preachers permission to take the preachers daughter to the dance. Yeah, I get it. Hey preacher, piss on you, piss on your beliefs, piss on your town, oh by the way I hope your daughter likes to get pissed on because I have a fetish. Can I take Betty Lou to the dance?

Well the big night arrives and another fight occurs (my god the violence) and then we get it. The money shot, “Let’s dance!”. Minutes earlier….

This town,
this town so anxious to dance,
this town so desperate for the hedonistic ritual of movement to music,
this town puts on the lamest dance the world has ever seen. There are Christmas lights, rice crispy squares, brownies and punch, but nobody dances. Boys are on one side, girls on the other. Awkwardness is literally ruining the night they have written about so often in their railway hobo poetry. Who will save the day? Thankfully Ren takes his new lady for a spin and people get up to move, why I don’t know.

What makes asking a girl to dance less embarrassing after one couple begins dancing? Shouldn’t it be more embarrassing? “That fucker has the balls, why don’t I. I fucking hate Bacon?” If you can’t sack up before Bacon bites into a slow one then you suck.

So the movie ends with some line dancing and we are left wondering if the town has changed for the better? The kids are still all pent up and fighting. Nobody has addressed the issue of dancing in town. Alcohol flows everywhere, except the dance so I don’t know how it could be considered better.

What they didn’t show was the drive home scene, no not for the back seat fucking, for the drug and alcohol related traffic deaths. Obviously those scenes will make the directors cut, but until they do I am left wondering. I wonder if Wilber is okay now that his lady lives in New York and fucks everything that moves. I wonder, I wonder…

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Bruins win - still bleeding

The Bruins won tonight, but according to the various sports pages/papers/Sports shows the Bruins are still "Bleeding" since the Thornton trade.

Recap 8-7 since the trade, 8-18 before the trade. Other than the Leafs they have the best record in the Northeast over the past 10 games (6-4).

Worse than the press saying the Bruins still suck is that they are now saying that Joe Thornton is a Hart trophy candidate.

WHAT THE FUCK!

This guy was the capitain of an 8-18 team.

30% of his season was spent below .500. SORRY, San Jose is 17-21 so he is still on a sub .500 team. 100% of his season has been below .500. MVP my fucking ass.

Like I said, zero contribution to the team he was the captain of and now they are calling him an MVP? Do they give trophies away for half a season worth of work.

Give the bitch the Lady Byng and give the Hart to someone who deserves it.

I think they press will do anything to make this guy look good. While he was still the "legal" captain of the Bruins, the "Pundits" described a run of the Bruins as being unbeaten in their last 9. When in fact they only won 4 games over that stretch and lost 5 in the craptastic shootout. Like I said the according to the experts the team sucks today and is bleeding, despite playing their best hockey of the season (boy that is sad to say), but a 4-5 stretch with Thornton was listed as unbeaten in 9. Get your lips off his ass, he'll just break your heart.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Brokeback mountain is fraudulent gay porn

Although I haven't seen it I am sure that "Bareback/Brokeback Mountain" is as about as realistic as a lesbian porno shower scene.

First off the secret love affair of two solitary men in the mountains sounds pretty fucking stupid. Hasn't it always been assumed that mountain men fucked everything that moved including each other? What news are we breaking here?

To be even more graphic, how can you develop a love story around two horny guys in the moutains (ha ha mount "ain", just got that one). If a woman didn't write this story I would be amazed. Men write the type of Lesbian scenes we like and what we have here is a woman writing gay scenes that she likes (ie. Jake and Heath sweaty with no shirts). The two scenes share one thing, they have absolutely no basis in reality. Alone in the hills, these two "Chaps" would be banging like orangutans. No romance, just a lot of "you want to go again?"

Stop trying to change us bitches. Mountain men fuck like mountain men, not like pretty boys in denim.

Fucking panada's

Brad Pitt is a teacher, plain and simple. Aniston for Jolie is a very good trade. Beauty, money making abilities and breeding potential. He has also taught us something else in the movie Troy that Taiwan should consider. Beware of animal gifts.

China has offered Taiwan 2 Panda's and the debate is ragging as to whether or no they should be accepted. Well if those Panada's are three stories high and made of wood, I would have to say no.

When Communist military dictatorships that hate you and refuse to respect your right to exist offer you the cutest furriest animal on the planet as a gift, RUN THE FUCK AWAY AND TAKE COVER.

I hate myself because it’s a hockey post again

I hate myself because it’s a hockey post again. Well Fuck off, I am serious.

Why isn’t Andy Moog in the Hockey Hall of Fame?

The day Moog retired he was 7th overall in goalie wins for a career with 372.

As a point of reference, if a goalie wins 300 games, they are basically in the Hall of Fame, it’s like 500 goals for a forward.

Amongst goalies with 500 or more games played NOBODY has a higher win percentage at .622.

The day he retired, Moog and Patrick Roy had essentially identical statistics with regard to games played and wins.

Roy 380 wins and 717 games played.
Moog 372 wins and 713 games played.

HOWEVER, for Roy’s extra 4 games and 8 extra wins he had 15 more losses. Roy played the majority of his career up until Moog’s retirement for the defensive minded Montreal Canadiens and the powerful Colorado Avalanche. Moog only played 5 full seasons with the Oilers, so don’t say he got gifted wins and after the Bruins he played for a terrible Dallas Stars team as well as a terrible Montreal Canadiens team. Roy played for one bad team in his entire career and he walked off the ice during a game and demanded a trade. What a team guy.

Moog could have won more games, but he retired because he was going to be left unprotected in the expansion draft and he was sure to be picked up and had no interest in moving his family again.

Not to bore you further with his career, but the guy won three Stanley Cups, played for 6 finalists, won the Jennings trophy, played in 4 all-star games, only lost 209 games in over 700 played. In the Fuhr era Edmonton Oilers when people called Moog the backup, he averaged 47 games a season. He played for the Canadian Olympic team and was in nets for an 8-0 shut out of Poland, the seemingly forgotten last Canadian Olympic shut out.

As an aside, As a rookie he was robbed of the Vezina by Pete Peters because Peters had so many shut outs, and for some reason Rollie Melanson was the runner up, I am guessing it was due to his goals against because nothing else was very spectacular considering he was playing for the Islanders, 3 time defending Stanley Cup champions. He wasn’t even mentioned for the Calder. I bring this up because a year later Tom Barrasso would win both awards with FAR inferior numbers

1982-83
Peters 62 GPs, 40 wins, 11 losses, 9 ties, 8 shut outs, 2.36 goals against
Melanson44 GPs, 24 wins, 12 losses, 5 ties, 1 shut out, 2.66 goals against
Moog 50 GPs, 33 wins, 8 loses, 7 ties, 1 shut out, 3.45 goals against
1983-84
Barrasso 42 GPs, 26 wins, 12 losses, 3 ties, 2 shut outs, 2.84 goals against

As for value to his team. Like I said as a “Back up” with the Oilers he played more games than Fuhr and the Boston Bruins have not had a stable goaltending situation since he was traded. Jon Casey, John Blue, Steve Sheilds, Byron Dafoe, Rob Tallas, Jim Carey, Bill Ranford, Craig Billington, Blaine Lacher, Vincent Riendeau, Felix Potvin, Andrew Raycroft, John Grahame, Tim Thomas, Jeff Hackett, Tim Cheveldae, Scott Bailey, to name just a few.

The guy retired in 1998 with 372 wins, put him in the damned hall.

Hockey journalists hate the Boston Bruins Part 1

I Just had to listen to "The Expert" press tell me how stupid the Thornton trade was again. The Bruins won Thursday night against Ottawa the cup favourites and just beat the defending Stanley cup champions, but it doesn't matter because Joe Thornton plays somewhere else.

I am amazed that regardless of the score the Bruins get one highlight and the opponent gets every single goal shown. Case in point, Bruins win 7-6 over the Penguins, every channel TSN, Headline sports and sportsnet showed 1 Boston goal. This was a game the Bruins were losing 6-4 in the 3rd period, stormed back to tie and won in overtime. I saw every single Crosby shot and assist, but only 1 Boston goal. In a 7-6 come from behind overtime victory. 6 Penguin goals (they have Lemieux and Crosby don't you know) 1 Boston goal. Just saying, this was the worst example, but it is typical.

Back to the Joe Thornton trade, one month later. I loved Joe Thornton, but as I explain in part 2, he just did not want to play for the Bruins, and a $6 million half assed guy is bad in every way. So let's see how bad the trade has actually been for the Bruins. Before the trade the Bruins were 8-13-5, to simplify with the new rules they were 8 and 18. That's right, with walk on water Thornton they lost 18 of their first 26 games. Something clearly wasn't working. Again as described in part 2, they should have done other things first, but as it is all water under the bridge now, they did something, they didn't just ride it out.

Since the Thornton trade the press would have you believe that the Bruins are worse. In the month leading up to the trade the Bruins were 1 for 12. Since the trade they are 8-6-1, or to be clearer 8-7, or even clearer they are a .500 hockey club (.530 to be exact) without their irreplaceable $6 million leader. They were a .307 hockey club with Thornton. Maybe it's just me, but I think that the trade may be doing something for the Bruins.

I was super pissed about what the Bruins got in return for Thornton, but after 14 games I have to say I am pleasantly surprised.

Wayne Primeau made me madder than any part of this deal, but he is filling his role nicely. He is a quality checker who has 2 goals, 2 assist and 12 PIM since the deal and he is averaging 14 minutes a game.

Brad Stuart was the one positive that any analyst could see in the deal and he is playing fairly well. He has 3 goals 6 assists for 9 points in his first 13 games. He has 14 PIM and is averaging a very nice 24 minutes a game.

Marco Strum was also mentioned as a nice addition and he has 7 goals and 5 assists since joining the team. He has 5 PIM and is getting 17 minutes of ice time a night.

With these three players the Bruins saved $1 million over Thornton's contract and have gotten three aggressive guys who are contributing big minutes in ice time and are scoring. Before the trade Thornton's numbers were pretty good 9 goals, 24 assists in 23 games, but and it's a big but, he only had 6 penalty minutes. If this guy wins the Lady Byng trophy this year, which he could, I think he should be VERY embarrassed. A guy his size, who was the Captain of an original six franchise not contributing physically, speaks volumes as to the effort and heart he was putting into his game.

The problem/knock on the Bruins has always been that they relied too heavily on one guy/line. Shut down their key line and they are easy to beat. Witness the Canadiens in the playoffs and Thornton’s 0 points in 7 games. So what they have achieved here with this trade is clearly a more balanced attack. Thornton's career has smelled a lot like that of Alexi Yashin. Great regular season numbers, but come playoff time the guy is a shadow of himself and the Bruins playoff performance is evidence of that. They won their division twice with Thornton, but never won a playoff round.

Since the trade, Thornton's numbers have maintained their pace, 6 goals and 19 assists, but those penalty minutes are still girlish to say the least. He has 11 minutes in 13 games with San Jose, an improvement right, but 9 of those minutes came in the same game. In other words, Thornton had 3 stupid penalties in one game and a minor penalty in another. Another telling stat is a 6 game stretch where Thornton managed just 4 points, all assists, and his team went 1-5 stretch. That is the Thornton that San Jose should be afraid of. The guy who gets his points, but they are meaningless to all but his statistics.

As for the three new Bruins collectively they have 12 goals and 13 assists for 25 points since the trade. Thornton has 25 points since the trade. Now I am no expert, but it appears that the Bruins have simply spread out their scoring and added a defenseman who logs huge minutes and can contribute offensively. Now if they can make the playoffs, a good run and they are right back into it, and everyone who shit on this trade may have to eat their words.

Maybe for the time being we can all stop saying how great the future Lady Byng Trophy winner is and do a little more analysis of the trade and its impact. The Bruins are playing better and they have matched Thornton's production point for point. A month after my first rant everything I said is still true, and the new faces are proving themselves. Was it a terrible trade? Not a great trade that's for sure, but let's give it a chance.

Canadian Hockey Journalists hate the Boston Bruins - Part 2

I wrote this a month ago after hearing that my once beloved Joe Thornton had been traded. In the wake of the trade I have had to listen to every single sports news cast tell me over and over what a bad deal it was for the Bruins. I know I get it. What is pissing me off more than anything is that as time passes these clowns are just plain wrong. They talk about the Bruins struggles since the trade and how well Thornton is performing which is all true, but everything I wrote below is still true about Thornton.

In my rage I came up with acceptable trades for Thornton.

Thornton for Heatly okay
Thornton for Nash Okay
Thornton for Pronger okay
Thornton for Naslund okay
Thornton for Crosby maybe okay
Thornton for 10 other guys in combination MAYBE
Thornton for a First round flop, stick boy and 20 goals not so fucking good

That said

I don't know how to feel, I'm torn. I was in shock, denial all of the above. Then I started reading the Boston press. Then I remembered the game we saw where Thornton was nowhere to be seen, apparently that has been the whole season for this guy. Then I thought about the fact that he never opened his mouth, before or after a game. Sure he was putting in points, but did they mean anything? This year it was always a different guy on the team night in night out with more points in a game, or with the winner. Also, he hasn't taken a shot all year. He hasn't been hitting and the press seems to think he hasn't been skating. Don’t even get me started with the fact that he had 6 fucking penalty minutes through 23 games in a league where wrinkly pants get you five and the game. Nobody in the Boston media thought he was doing what was necessary and so in that respect I can sort of understand the move.

He clearly didn’t want to be there

Boston offered him 2 five year deals in the off season and he turned both of them down. The first was early in the summer and was a bit low, but when they saw how much Nash and Iginla got they upped to equal levels, but he still would only commit to a 3 year deal with a no trade clause after the first year. In other words, if he hated it after the first year Boston couldn't trade him to a shitty team, but he could play it out and go where ever he wanted after 3 years, and guess what he would only be 29. How much money do you think he gets popping in 80-90 pts without trying as a 29 year old free agent? Worse still he could force a trade by sitting in the second year after he was in the no trade situation. I was worried when the year started about that contract and I guess it all comes to that.

HOWEVER

You don’t trade that guy for a bag of pucks. You go out and you get someone big or a couple of relatively big guys. I have heard people say that it is time for a change in the front office. Well I think O’Connell deserves a season to see how his moves pan out. The GM went out after the strike and made a lot of moves (not one of which has turned out yet, but regardless). Love him or hate him, he did something to make the team a contender regardless of whether or not they look like good moves now. The coach on the other hand has done nothing. He has gotten zero out of the new arrivals and clearly is not coaching a game that works in the new NHL. So he should have been fired 5 games ago.

Thornton always, ALWAYS plays better with a hard assed coach. That is what gets his hippie ass moving. Burns, Ftorek, Keenan and even Pat Quinn with Team Canada, all loved him, but they said they had to make him work. Sullivan is like 35, first time coaching and has no idea what to do with "the superstar" so he treats him with kid gloves, which is the wrong thing to do. So Joe goes out and gets his 2 points every night no harm no foul, but isn't a factor in the overall game. Is that his fault? For $6 million, yes it is, but fix the coaching before you get rid of a 26 year old guy who almost won the scoring championship 2 years ago if not for 2 five game suspensions.

After the coach, then you fire the GM. He signed Zhamnov for $4 million and he has done nothing. He signed Bryan Leetch for $4 million (starting to look like a good move). He signed Shawn McEachern for $2 million (A guy he also traded 10 years ago) and had to put on waivers. He let Andy Hilbert go for nothing. He signed Raycroft to a monster deal before figuring out whether or not he could play in the league, which he can't, but he still forces the coach to put him when the Finn is a better player. This team’s performance is on the GM's head. He had 6 players after the strike, so every single new player is his responsibility. They suck, he sucks, you're fired.

After the Bruins lost in the playoffs two years ago when they had a 3-1 series lead over the Canadiens I said I was going to take a break from cheering for them. They had broken my heart so many times. Of course the strike let me cool off and I was ready to go, but now with the new rules (that I fucking hate) and the shitty (again) Bruins.

FUCK HOCKEY, FUCK THE BRUINS

Liverpool is on a five game win streak. They have moved from 12th to 4th in 3 weeks and they are looking good in Champions League. The world cup in coming up (June-July ...VEGAS) . The Heavyweight boxing division is being organized for a winner take all tournament (Finally) and once we have our winner it is wide open for some new blood to kick all of their asses. And if I get really bored, Duke is the #1 college basketball team in the country.

Hockey, what the hell is hockey? Don't offer me anything.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

I need a pick me up, Pierre McGuire has killed my buzz

When you're feeling blue here is a word that is sure to lift your spirits.

Knockers

Say it and think. It'll work every time.

Okay, too many happy thoughts. I fucking hate Pierre McGuire (useless hockey pundit).

When this guy isn't taking credit for drafting successful hockey players, he is ruining hockey games through bold, pointless bullshit statements.

Whatever happens on the ice, regardless of how bizzar, it is exactly what he predicted would/should or could happen. His inflection is ridiculous and statements fill me with rage.

If you are thinking ahead to next Christmas, killing him for me would be a great stocking stuffer.

Oh I know I can ramble on a bit, so here are some quick thoughts

Jay Leno is not funny. His entire show makes me angry. His best bit is reading funny newspaper headlines, articles, wedding announcements and advertisements. Those pieces are mailed to him by his viewers. So congratulations if you mail those things in because you are funnier than Jay Leno. Hell congratulate yourself if you fucked up the printing press that produced the stuff, or if you were the incompetent editor who let that shit slide. Anything, if you can read at a grade 2 level, you are still funnier than that asshole (is it 2008 yet?).

Things I can’t believe

Ryan Seacrest is famous?

On that note…

Why are Hillary Duff, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Nicole Ritchie, Amanda Bynes and Jessica/Ashlee Simpson famous (to name just a few)? They're rich and I am not, but I can’t figure out what sets us apart talent wise. I sing like shit, I can’t dance very well, hell I even starred in a TV show with someone who looked like Jenny Garth. I need some help here.

On that note…

Why does Paris Hilton get such bad press? She is a rich, blond, dumb girl with a hot body who likes to drink and screw billionaires. If you were a millionaire gold digging dumb girl, you would fuck billionaires and wash away the shame with alcohol too.

On that note…

Paris, my dog is better than your dog. He cost more, he’s smarter and he has better pedigree than every person I know.

Tanith Belbin and other Canadian sellouts

I Hate Tanith Belbin!

Now I am not calling for an Olympic tragedy, but let’s just say if some terrible tragedy befalls Tanith Belbin before or during the Olympic games I will be the happiest man in Canada.

I am adding Tanith Belbin to my list of Canadians I fucking hate. “Hate is a strong word”, my mother always said, but guess what, it ain’t strong enough for Tanith.

Tanith could also appear on my list of people I hate soley because of their first names, but today she will appear on my list of suck hole, Canadian bitches who aren’t good enough to compete for one country so they compete for another. There are other motives for their switch of alligence of course which I will get to in due time, but think dollar signs and you will get the picture.

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind atheletes switching countries after playing for someone else, but I have limits. For example, Athurs Irbe was forced to play for the Soviet Union/Russia, but when his home country, Latvia, gained independence he had to fight for his right to play for his homeland. No skin of Russia’s nose, great boost for Latvia, so no problem. Canada’s own Mark McKoy won gold in the 110 meter Hurdles at the Olympics, but then didn’t make the Canadian Team for the next games. Canada should have let him defend, in my opinion, but I do support the country’s right to only send the best. In this case it was such a huge deal that we won a track and field medal, not just some ice dancing bullshit, that I think he should have been allowed to defend his gold medal (note to Tanith: that is all you can win, bullshit ice dance, think about it). Mark Mckoy was forced to sprinit for someone else. I can’t fault Mark for wanting to defend anyway possible, I wasn’t thrilled, but what else could he do? There are other examples, but not many. My list of suck hole bitches is a lot longer.

First on my list because it hurt so much, and he is actually the only person who ever really hurt Canada with his decision to play for another country…

Brett Hull

Brett ‘s decision to play for the US because Canada said he wasn’t good enough is the worst turn coat crap I have ever seen. Born in Belleville Ontario, raised in Belleville and Winnipeg, but played for the USA. When his best friend told him to come back home (Wayne Gretzky) he said “NO!”. That is Hull’s career signature. Calgary had the gaul to send him to the minors so he wanted out. Canada told him he wasn’t good enough to play for the team so he went to the US (remember the Canadian teams of the mid to late 1980’s? Yzerman wasn’t good enough to play). He hated every coach he ever had, etc. So how did he hurt Canada? Well he scored the high stick goal in that bullshit World Cup Championship in 1996 (fuck the Canada Cup right Bettman). Brett Hull is poison. Did Steve Yzerman ever say “fuck Canada, I have been in the US for over 10 years, I have never made an importrant Canadian team even though I am a top 5 player in the world, why don’t I just play for the US.” No he didn’t, but Brett Hull did. Yzerman waited it out and got his chance, Hull, well he won that one bullshit trophy and that was it.

So Brett Hull I hate you more than any turn coat bitch in the world, even more than that turn coat bitch George Washington.

Obviously George Washington is second on my list, but third is…

Lennox Lewis

This guy doesn’t even admitt to knowing where Canada is, and when our friends at HBO or Showtime annouce him they say Gold Medalist for Great Britain. When you see film of him winning his gold medal, look at his face as he waves the worlds smallest Canadian flag. It is like he is holding a cheque for 2 cents. It is worthless to him. He abandonded his home country and came to Canada. He accepted our money, our safety and our love and support and as soon as he went pro he became British.

As an aside, it was a pretty smart move. The Brits love boxing, they love champions, and with the exception of that waste of space Frank Bruno, they hadn’t had a champion they could call their own in a very long time. So finacially it was genius, but morally it was bankrput.

I hate him so much that I watch Rahman knock him out all the time on tape. If he even mentioned Canada once and a while it wouldn’t be so bad, or if he didn’t make a point of saying which country he represented, I wouldn’t care, but he does make the point and did abandon us and never even had a fight in Canada as a thank you. So Lennox, you’re bitch number three.

Owen Hargreaves

Now this kid pisses me off so much, just saying his name makes me taste bile. Born and raised in Calgary, until he lucked out and got a contract to play soccer with Bayer Munich. Fine, good for him. When it comes time to decide who he is going to play soccer for at a national level he says he has three options, Germany, England and Canada. To me the kid has one option, Canada. Born and raised, case closed. His mother or grandmother was British, that’s it. If you were born before 1983 that isn’t even enough to secure citizenship, but apparently it is enough to play for the National team. I think the Germany option was there because he played there for three years. I guess that is enough to put the goose in his step. The real pisser is not that he chose England, I mean who wouldn’t, unless you were actually German, but this guy would have been "THE MAN" for the Canadian soccer team for at least 12 years. We could have built a team around someone of his calibre and could have finally competed in the easiest group in the world and got back to the World Cup. Other players would have followed suit on his example, BUT NO. He decides he is going to be an insignificant, totally replaceable piece of the England machine. So instead of hundreds of caps for Canada and making a real difference in an entire country’s program he is a little used sub who will lose his place on the team before he turns 28.

Just to be a bastard I feel I should mention that since his decision to play for England they have had minor success, but no trophies, Canada on the other hand won the Gold Cup in a tournament that included 2 top ten teams (Mexico & USA). So there Owen, you bitch.

As I could go on all day I have save my last two turn coat bitches for the sport of Tennis. One of these people makes me sick and the other I just hate because she is so fucking stupid.

First Greg Rusedski

A more English sounding name you will not find. Another example of a guy born to a Canadian Father and British mother who gets citizenship even though it isn’t really allowed. To gain British citizenship the rules state that the father must be British if you were born before 1983, case closed. Anyway, this bitch was born in Montreal Quebec, a place known for its love of the British Empire and after five years as a pro decides that he wants to be British. Why? Again it’s pretty smart. He was a pretty decent player, not great, but decent, so how do you make sure that regardless of play or ranking you get into a grand slam tournament? Of course pick one of the four countries with a Grand Slam and become a citizen. Again the Brits are crazy for tennis, Wimbledon is “THE” tournament as far as I am concerned and he basically gets in for free, no matter how bad he is playing because he is “British”. Again this rant is about being good enough to make it on your own, not about being smart.

Here is another example of a guy who could have done wonders for the Canadian game, but no. Two weeks a year the guy is “the shit” in the UK and that is it. He picks up his cheque and there is his season. The only problem for him is that the English are pretty smart and have never really accepted him as British. Apart from his name and his Canadian accent he totally passes for British so I can’t figure it out. I don’t know who I love more, the British people for making fun of him every year or every single Canadian player (Nestor / Laureau to name only two) who stuck it out here and have brought some pride (Gold medal in doubles in Australia).

Mary Pierce


Even worse than that bitch Greg is that stupid turn coat bitch Mary Pierce. She took Greg’s route and decided to forget her Montreal, Quebec home and abandoned Canada for Florida so she could play for France. That makes perfect sense. Again here is a marginal top 20 player who has assured herself a spot every year in a Grand slam (the worst Grand Slam, but still a Grand Slam). Sure she won it once, but she even fucked that up. Mary Pierce of France (Ha Ha) accepted her award with a “Merci” and an “I am sorry, but I don’t speak French”. What a useless tool. I hate her so much that France can have her. How fucking embarrassing. You think that if you made the finals you would practice a line or two in French expressing your joy of being the first French woman to win the tournament in god only knows how many years. Not Pierce, "sorry I don’t speak French". To make matters even worse, she is from fucking Quebec. How stupid and isolated was this woman that she never picked up any French? Just writing it makes me want to put her ahead of Brett Hull, but like I said, he is the only person on the list who actually hurt Canada with his actions. All of the others could have helped us greatly, but Hull hurt us.

That brings us to the newest entry…

Tanith Belbin

How is it possible that I know absolutely nothing about her, but still hate her soo much? Her excuse for the knife in the back, “I have lived in the US most of my life and all my great memories have been here”.

First off, Ice dance shouldn’t be anybody’s greatest memory. Secondly, I am terrible in math, but I know that moving to the US to find a partner at 14 and becoming a citizen at 20 does not mean that you have spent most of your life in the US. Thirdly, I believe she trains in Detroit, how on earth can that place make you want to be American, or give good memories? As a tip for the INS, she probably lives in Windsor and trains in Detroit, so she hasn’t actually been in the country that long. P.O. boxes aren’t that hard to get.

Tanith claimed she couldn’t find a partner in Canada, and the guy she found was in the US. Fine whatever, but drop the bullshit. You want to be a US citizen because that country is mad for that horrible half assed sport. If Canada wins a medal in any figure skating discipline we throw it on the pile to pad the numbers, but in the US if she lucks out and wins gold she’s a fucking millionaire. So don’t play dumb with us sweety, you’re pretty hot and if you win you are marketable. Case closed.

Tanith you aren’t the first turn coat bitch to piss me off and sell Canada out. But I am warning you, don’t hurt us, we need those bronze medals more than the US. Canada is the “home of the Bronze” and if you and Chicago Joe squeeze us off the podium you may just replace Brett Hull at the top my list. Ah, it’s only ice dance, you’ll never replace Hull, but I still hope you crash and burn, metophorically or in actuality.

God I would love to Tan “ith” her newly American hide. The balls on George Bush, during a war and an economic recession, to waste valuable time to make her a citizen. Nice job, you can have her.


To recap

Hockey - Brett Hull - Team USA
Politics - George Washington - 13 Colonies
Boxing - Lennox Lewis - Great Britain
Soccer - Owen Hargreaves - England
Tennis - Greg Rudeski, Mary Pierce - Great Britain & France
Fucking figure skating - Tanith Belbin - USA

Fuck them all

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Bobby Orr, you're out!

Like a movie spoiler, I warn you that every sentence after this one will be considered Blasphemy by every single hockey pundit over 40 so be careful, you may wish to stop here.

The debate has raged for a long time, twenty years at the very least. Who was the greatest hockey player of all-time, Bobby Orr or Wayne Gretzky?

No offence to Gordie Howe, but I think that general consensus has decided that while he was excellent, he never dominated the way that Gretzky or Orr did. Whatever the generation Howe played in, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, or 70’s, there was always someone better. Not much better, but Richard, Hull, Orr to name a few. Longevity is great, but it only goes so far.

So I return to the original question. Who was better, Gretzky or Orr? Well I am afraid this is where the blasphemy begins. I believe, nay, I know that not only is Wayne Gretzky the greatest player of all-time, but Orr really is not even in the top ten.

Holy cow, what a relief, it is finally out there.

The facts are relatively simple, Gretzky broke every record imaginable. He has more assists than the next closest player has point and he has the most career goals. Add to that the single season and playoff records, four Stanley cups, 6 appearances in the final, MVP’s and scoring titles, international acclaim and only a fool would question the fact. The problem is that there are a lot of fools in hockey journalism and they have kept this debate alive for a very long time.

I can hear it now, “Ben, you don’t know because you never saw Orr play”. No, I did not and that is why I can say with perfect objectivity that Bobby Orr was good, but it was the terrible state of the hockey in the 1970’s that made him look like a candidate for the greatest title.

So why do I believe that Bobby Orr was not the greatest? Firstly, I refuse to give him credit for what might have been. Do not even talk to me about injuries. Orr’s injuries are irrelevant. For Gretzky or Orr there can only be one thought on injuries. If they are not in the line up, they are not helping the team and they are not performing so their greatest cannot be measured. Sure Orr only played for parts of 12 years, cry me a river, that is plenty of time to establish a career. Orr’s stats for 12 years were impressive, but in 12 years he only had six impressive seasons. Sure he may have walked on water in those six seasons, but remember over five seasons Gretzky scored a total of 1000pts.

That’s right from 1981-82 to 1985-86 Gretzky scored over 1000 points (1036 to be exact) something Orr never did in his career. Remember until the 1990’s a 1000 points was a ticket to the Hall of Fame, and Gretzky did it in a five season window, something to few people talk about when they speak about the carnival of records that was his career. (Note to the Hall of fame, Bobby Smith 1036 points and Brian Propp 1004 points deserve their ticket). I hope you noticed that in five years Gretzky did what the “Great” prospect of 1979, Bobby Smith, achieved over his entire 15 year career. Smith was a point a game player for his career and he won’t even make the Hall of Fame because of the types of number Gretzky put up, 1000 points just seems ordinary now.

So let’s talk about why Bobby Orr wasn’t so great.

In his first three years in the league Bobby Orr was not even a point a game player. In fact, he won the Norris trophy unbelievably after scoring 31 points in 46 games. You have to wonder how bad every other defenseman was to allow this to happen.

FACT:
Bobby Orr scored basically 130 points in his first 160 games during the tight checking Original Six era and the acceptable 12 team era.

This is where it gets interesting, only when the league continued to expand and the talent thinned to next to nothing did Bobby Orr’s statistics take off. Expansion was apart of Gretzky’s life as well, but nothing like the explosion Orr benefited from. It is mind boggling how many teams and cities joined the NHL in the 1960’s and 70’s. After his first season Bobby Orr’s NHL went from 6 teams to 12, 14, 16, and finally reaching 18 teams by his 9th season.

To add to the depletion of skill at the same time as this massive NHL expansion was underway a new professional league emerged, the WHA, taking talent from the weakening NHL to fill over 15 additional teams. What that means is that an 18 year old Bobby Orr managed 40 points in 60 games in a tight checking established league while a 22 year old Orr scored 139 points in a North American hockey system with over 30 major pro teams.

What I am suggesting is that Orr’s play was contained when opposing talent was sufficient say in the 6 and 12 team league, but when Canada literally ran dry of skilled hockey players, hence the heavy scouting of Europe and the US, Bobby Orr took full advantage of a league with nothing to offer by way of opposition.

Most agree that the league needed to expand from 6 teams because there was too much talent trying to get into the league. I agree, of course; however, there was a limit to reasonable expansion that was far exceeded by the NHL’s new cities and the creation of the WHA. The lack of talent to support the 30 teams of the NHL and WHA can be illustrated in the prolongation of the careers of players like Jacques Plante, Gump Worsley, Dave Keon, Frank Mahovilch, Doug Harvey, Boom Boom Geoffrion and Gordie Howe to name but a few. Without the money they were offered and their skill level being artificially maintained by the saturated leagues there is no way these players try to play as long as they did.

Where is my real evidence?

We have all seen amazing highlights of a Bobby Orr rush or cheered at his Stanley Cup winning goal, but can you remember a moment when one of those amazing plays was done against an established NHL original six franchise? How many Orr highlights came against the Cleveland Barons or the California Golden Seals? Too many, that’s how many. Go through one of his many highlight retrospectives and I defy you to find a meaning full team being victimized. I realize a game is a game and all points count, but Orr’s genius was always more apparent when the Bruins destroyed a medicore team. Even his great Stanley cup winning goal came against a team that had only existed for three short years.

Gretzky on the contrary joined the league with an expansion team, okay technically an expansion team, but by the time Gretzky entered the NHL the WHA was dead and the talent of that league was able to find homes in the NHL (Rick Viave, Mark Messier, Mike Gartner, Mike Rogers, Blaine Stoughton again to name just a few 100 point and 50 goal scorers). The NHL had found its stabilization point as some of the leagues poorer decisions played themselves out and teams were folded or combined. In other words the strong survived. In addition to overall team quality the NHL had now embraced the immense talent pool of Europe thanks to the WHA and the foolish expansion of the 1970's into the United States (Kansas City, Atlanta, Cleveland, Oakland) began to bare fruit as witnessed by the so-called miracle on ice. Don’t get me started about that miracle moniker. What that so-called “micracle” did was give the NHL an excellent group of young America players.

I hate the 1980 Miracle (What made it a miracle?)
http://angryrants2006.blogspot.com/2006/01/1980-us-winter-olympic-hockey-team.html

So as of 1979, there was a level of players capable of supplying and supporting a 21 team league. Gretzky was now playing in the most competitive period the league had seen in a very long time and what many see as the golden age of modern NHL hockey, the 1980’s. Not only did he compete, but he made everyone, EVERYONE, the class of the league, the All-stars, everyone, look like second class citizens, and he did it for 10 straight years, and when those ten years were up he dazzled for another 10 continuously grabbing prizes and making highlights.

I have always heard, arguments like “who knows what Orr could have done if he could have avoided the injuries”, but for all we know Orr could have been a flash in the pan. After all, he was really only very good for six years. Maybe regardless of the injuries he was finished, the NHL was just about to get very good and maybe there was no room in the league for his style of play. Could it be a coincidence that he entered the league during the last season of the original six period and left the year before the league found its feet again? Perhaps he was perfectly poised for a ten year window and once it closed, injuries or not, Orr’s hay day was over.

Even at their peak the Orr led Bruins could not compete with the defensively strong Canadiens and aggressive Flyers of the Middle Seventies. I think even Orr’s greatness would have found little success against the magnificent Islanders of the early 80’s and he would have no doubt retired a very sad man thinking of the prospect of taking on the mighty Oilers of the middle 1980’s.

Bobby Orr was very good and his statistics are impressive, but I think that an overall league wide adjustment to his style of play and the gradual improvement in talent would have severely cut his personal statistics long before an estimated or natural end to his career.

It is my beielf that the early end to Bobby Orr’s career, like most early ends, has helped to propagate the Orr myth. He is cemented in our minds as a player at his peak. He never got old, he never hung on a season too long (debatable). The dream is over and we need to wake up. Sure he was great, but because of the league he played in he was simply the best at the worst time. There will only ever be one Great One.